😿ANXIETY😿

“I worry my depression and anxiety are always going to keep me from being the person I dreamed of becoming.”
Hey, What's up?  Yeah, it's me again, I know you guys might not miss me like a lot but I just wanna write something. This blog isn't always about happy things but also a lot of sad things. Thus, I'm going to write one of the sad things in my journey. 
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First of all, I just want you guys to know I'm NOT a superhero, I'm just a mortal human who have a bunch of weaknesses and fears. In this post, I'm gonna talk about my biggest fear which is ANXIETY. I trully wonder if I can be happy or not. People always tell me that there is nothing we should worry about and I think they are surely wrong about that. I've made a couple of life plans for me so I can still reach my goals even if it tooks freaking long times. I want every single plan on my life goes very well but honestly god has different opinion about that. Yapp, sometimes things just don't happen as good as I hope. 
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That story of mine has created a single word which keeps banging my head and that word is called ANXIETY. To be honest with you guys, I'm actually dealing with anxiety right now. My failures in the past make me can't be as confident as I used to be. I'm afraid of doing something wrong for the second time. I'm still a stubborn person and I'm still proud of that but sometimes people can break my arguments by bringing up my failures to the conversation. Sometimes they tell me what to do or what not to do and ask me to forget some of my life plans because they thinks those things are not relevant anymore.  It's actually really tears me down since I know their points are not wrong at all but I can't live like that. I want myself to be happy with my own way. I still want to live YOLO and enjoy my life as long as possible. I'm still young to think about the future.  Everyone including me wants to be happy and that's the fact but I don't want people to tell me what I'm supposed to do. 

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Sometimes I just pray to God so I can get help. I just ask one thing to God and that thing is called happiness. I don't know what plans God have for me in this life, what kind of happiness He will give to me, and when He finally gives that happiness to me. Sometimes, It feels so heavy to keep smiling in front of people when I have problems. I always try to be a strong girl because I know God is always with me and He will give me the happiness sooner or later. 
“I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
-Bob Marley

 ✌PEACE OUT✌



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